Surely I Could Write a $100,000 Drum Beat

In recent news of the weird variety:

NAS PAYS TWO MILLION DOLLARS FOR A BEAT
Rap star Nas reportedly has paid a staggering $2 million for a mystery new beat created by hip hop producers the Neptunes.

A number of artists were reported to be in competition for the beat, including Sean "P. Diddy" Combs.

It's so groundbreaking, rap veteran Busta Rhymes is convinced it will make hip-hip history.

He says, "Those drums man. Those drums are fire! If Nas is gonna rap to this beat, it's going to be over. This will be the biggest hit in the history of hip hop."

This is just staggering. I can't think of the last time someone overpaid so much for something. I mean, the time someone paid $40k on EBay for a grilled cheese sandwich that depicted the virgin Mary is nothing compared to this.

All that hype by Mr. Rhymes, now, that's a lot to live up to. How can you possibly meet expectations after that? Even if it's the next "Yeah!" will it still have been worth it? Who wants to bet this song hits the chart, does pretty well, and then drops off and is never heard again?

And if Nas is willing to pay two mil for a beat, how much would he pay for a legendary guitar solo? A cool million? The greatest rock riff of all time? Three-quarters of a million? A jaw-dropping vocal run? Half a mil? We need to know these things!

And how sad is it that Busta Rhymes is referred to as a "rap veteran"? What does it take to get upgrated to "star" level? I guess that's what happens when you go five years without putting out an album. Even Foxy Brown is referred to as a rap star, and I've never even heard of her. Of course, that's not saying much....