Thou Reeky Hedge-Born Clotpole!

Stumbled across a great Shakespearean insult generator while browsing the annual bad-writing contest.

Kinda makes me sad for our limited vocabularies. When was the last time you gave someone a 3-part insult? The most we can usually manage is adjective-noun. Are we to be outdone by knaves four centuries gone? I guess so.

About Yesterday

You may have noticed that I did not post anything yesterday. This is because that instead of doing nothing at work, I was doing it at home.

I have been trying to be a good little blogger; I would like to post every day. But what do you expect? I'm not going to spend time analyzing, ranting and raving Internetically (hey, new word) when I can actually be entertaining myself and doing constructive things. Hence, no posts on weekends or WAH days. Deal.

Ok, I'm sorry. I posted twice today to make up for it. Are you happy now?

In other news, I saw no less than 5 Priuses on the way to work today. I shook my fist when I was passed by two consecutive Prii (the black one, then the silver one).

You may laugh at me for being passed by hybrids with one 76 hp engine (gas) and one 67 hp engine (electric) each. I have several excuses handy:

My car is 9 years old.

I like to listen to my iPod in my car and rock out as a defensive mechanism against being frustrated by stupid drivers and annoying traffic.

I have zero incentive to get to work on time.

Something else clever that I forgot.

Oh yeah, those engines work together. They have like, a whole 110 hp combined. (Yes, I know that 76+67=143. The 110 hp total is due to the fact that the two power sources hit their peak at different times. Really. I read this somewhere.) Almost as much as my mighty 150 hp 4-cylinder. Those are some peppy little cars. Really. Ask Edmunds.

Why I Hate Harry Potter

I'll admit it freely; I hate Harry Potter. It's not just because the books and movies are the most overblown, overhyped phenomenon since... well, ever. It's not because I'm into "real" fantasy fiction and I'm just a snob about more mainstream material. It's not because so many other people love them that I assume they must suck. It's not even that I take joy in criticizing things that people love. Admittedly, all of these things are true... just not germane to this particular discussion.

No, I have actually read the first two (or was it three?) books. They're just dull. The characters are blander than bland, the plots are stock and derivative, and the writing is excruciatingly plain. They're something that a precocious 8th grader with a good editor could turn out. (For a good time, dig through the negative reviews of young Christopher Paolini's Eragon on Amazon.) They're like baby food; they're easily digestible, but that doesn't make them worthwhile, and it certainly doesn't mean that adults should be trying them. The best thing I can say about the books is that they are somewhat cute. But that just makes them acceptable for 8-year olds; it doesn't justify adult readers and umpteen million copies sold. It makes me sad that so many people are discovering how great reading is thanks to this drivel. It's like when you meet someone who says they like classical music, and upon asking them what they like, they reply, "You know, like, the stuff they have on those British Air commericials."

So, the books are dull; I shouldn't get upset about that. What makes me upset is their popularity and the enthusiasm people have for them. Normally intelligent, discerning people go ga-ga over this pap. Folks I highly respect will wait in line for hours for the privilege of reading this waste. I'm ok with the fact that people need to be enthusiastic about something, and that it's natural to have fads and trends. But why the hell can't it be about something good? George R. R. Martin's A Song of Fire and Ice series is a good example of something that deserves its notoriety and success. Even Robert Jordan's neverending Wheel of Time saga has some merits. And, you know, that Tolkien chap wasn't half-bad either.

Listen to a fellow voice of sanity, Rober Winder of the BBC. God, there's nothing like sensible British people to tell it like it is. Just like Simon Cowell.

Got something to say? Wanna defend poor Harry? BRING IT!

Stop Following Me!

Everywhere I go, I see Priuses (Prii?). You know, the cute little Toyota hybrids. All over. Streets, parking lots, highways. I'm convinced that at least one in ten new cars in San Francisco is a Prius. "What's so scary about a cute little hybrid?" you might ask. Well, it probably wouldn't really bother me except for the fact that the Altissima is now 9 years old, has more than its fair share of scratches and scrapes, minor mechanical malfunctions, and has passed the point where I even consider bothering to keep it clean. So naturally I have been considering a replacement. For a long time, the Acura TSX was the frontrunner, but there aren't really enough on the street to make me consistently say, "I want one of those." Thus, the desire is not reinforced.

However, encountering a Prius at every turn has forced me to consider it as an option. What's not to like about 60 mpg in these times of ever-climbing gas prices? The hatchback gives it great trunk room, so it's practical. Most models come with great options standard. It's an intriguing, futuristic-looking car. And to sweeten the deal further, getting a hybrid gets you a tax deduction.

Just break down and get one, you say? Well, sure. I guess I could. But how original would that be? They're freaking everywhere!

Give me your opinion: Prius or TSX?

Kingdom of Loathing

This free web-based game is the latest obsession for Sherwin and me. This game is just so freakin' hilarious in a totally bizarre way. "How is it funny?" you might ask. Well, consider the following:

The currency of the realm is meat.

My character is a level 6 Turtle Tamer, which makes him a Frog Boss.

His familiar is a 20 lb mosquito named Torg.

He wears a helmet turtle, which is a turtle which for some reason doesn't mind being worn as a helmet.

His weapon is a Gnollish autoplunger, which I made by using meat paste to combine a Gnollish plunger and an engine.

I have built my own bitchin' meat car.

Amongst the many diverse monsters representing the realm are: the were-taco, bread golem, lemon-in-a-box, horizontal bat, zmobie (sic), knob goblin BBQ team, and of course, the undead elbow macaroni.

Sign up today!

Update: Sherwin just created a second account. *sigh* I guess I'll have to join him. Hmmm... maybe I'll make a Pastamancer or a Sauceror.

The Projector Project

Check it out: http://www.d20srd.org/extras/mapProjection.htm

Ok, so this is the current project of my group of gaming friends: we've bought our projector on eBizzle. Since we want to project the map onto the bottom of the table (because it's just cooler that way), we need to custom build a table, buy a mirror (to increase the throw distance from the projector to the table, hook the projector up to a laptop, and voila: instant beautiful gaming maps.

I suppose further photographic evidence will be need to show that this is actually cool.

Bored@Work

I suppose this is how many blogs get started: office+internet-stimulation=blog. I figure that it's more constructive than checking the same set of websites every 5 seconds to see if anything's been updated. I suppose blogging is rather prosaic these days, but then again so is websurfing, and that doesn't seem to stop anyone.

I guess I kind of just wanted a place to ramble, where friends could see what I've been up to; a place where I will be able to look back and reminisce about the things I did and the ideas I had, because I'm sure to forget. Plus, I need practice writing so I don't forget how. You know, for when I actually decide to write that novel I've been planning.

I imagine that I'll eventually lose interest in blogging, the way I do about everything else I'm interested in. Then again, maybe not. We'll see, won't we?

Ok, ok. Who can tell me where this blog's title is from? You were going to tell me anyway, weren't you? Christ, thinking up a blog name is harder than coming up with a role-playing character name. Not that I play role-playing games.... Oh yeah, you already knew about that, didn't you?